NLP & Establishing Rapport
One of the most powerful techniques of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is matching. This is a very powerful rapport building exercise. Basically, this means copying someones actions or attitude. If they nod their head, a moment later you nod your head. If they stand in a particular posture, you adopt that posture. It is important they they do not realize that they are copying their behavior but that the process of matching seems natural.
When you practice matching, people will start to like you without quite knowing why. Just continue to be natural and subtle with the matching and don’t match exaggerated behaviors. A salesman who becomes good at matching can greatly increase his commissions.
To some people matching may seem to manipulative or dishonest. It is not. It is simply a natural process that some do spontaneously and others need to learn. If you have ever noticed that couples who have been together for a long period of time, seem to have developed each other’s habits. This is just an example of how matching occurs on a natural basis. This is NLP in a real setting. People have a natural tendency to match others. So intentionally matching is just learning to do a behavior that already comes natural to many people.
So, the next time you sit down to talk to someone, begin to subtly match their behaviors. If they touch their nose, a few moments later touch your nose. If they lean forward, lean forward. The more you match their behavior, the more comforable they will feel with you. Coincidentally, the more you match them, the more you will begin to like them. This is not manipulation and it is not playing games with people’s lives. This is a honest effort to establish real, workable relationships with people that opens the way to communication.
