The NLP Feedback Sandwich – Communicate in a way that you can be heard.
When we try to communicate with others we are often misunderstood and many times we don’t get the results we want.
Sudden and intense changes in our basic state is called a negative trigger or anchor. If someone offers us feedback for some situation in our life we do not always accept it as openly as we might wish we would be able.
Even though their intention might be good we experience it as negative.
Have you ever tried to offer someone feedback and they had that same reaction to you. They may get angry and defensive. The more you try to help them, the less they seem to accept your input.
Often times, the input starts with a little praise and ends up with a critical remark. “You did a great good job washing the car, John but you need to pay more attention to the interior.”
It is just human nature to minimize the praise and focus on the criticism. The work “but” kills the praise and immediately sends up a red flag in the hearer’s mind.
We could turn it around and say something like ” You did a great job on the car, maybe the interior of the car could use a little more work but man, the outside looks great.”
This turns around the negative connotation of the word “but.”
There is a concept called “The NLP Feedback Sandwich.”
The way this works is to make a positive statement followed by the feedback and then followed by another positive statement.
The feedback sandwich is a powerful tool that can be used to keep emotions from getting out of control. Often, if we approach people as we are first inclined or respond to them in a spontaneous manner, we throw out any chance of productive communication.
By using the NLP Feedback Sandwich we can keep negative emotions at a minimum , be heard and have productive communications.
